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Boys Who Want to Be Boyfriends
Christopher Krovatin, 07.01.08
It's not that guys don't want to have sex. It's just not the only thing they want. |
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In the animal kingdom of high school, according to the media, the teenage boy is a not-too-distant cousin of the hyena — filthy, insensitive, and always hungry. Endless viewings of American Pie, Risky Business, and of course, Porky's have taught us about the zany lengths young men will go to for the payoff of sex.
Everyone knows that the minute guys start growing facial hair, they only have one thing on their minds. They'll do anything to get laid, no matter how clever and manipulative they have to be. Right?
Guys Have Feelings, Too
The motives of your average teenage boy are nowhere near as shallow as the media would have us believe. A recent study that looked at tenth-grade boys in New York found surprising results: When asked about their reasons for dating, 80 percent of guys responded, "I really liked the person."
The second-most popular reasons given for dating were physical attraction and wanting to get to know the person better. A small percentage of guys responded that they dated because they wanted to lose their virginity or felt pressure from their peers to do so.
The Secret is Out
So why's it so hard for many guys to admit that when it comes to relationships, it's not all about sex? Society expects girls to talk about their feelings, but guys are often made to feel that being in love — or at least talking about it —- is uncool.
A few years ago, when I was a teenager, I went to a prestigious all-boys high school in New York City. An all-boy school is a rough environment on its own; add insane amounts of privilege amongst the students, and you're living in a preppy prison.
One time during my senior year, a freshman was in the student lounge describing various women in ways he thought we wanted to hear — "total slut," "good lay," "milk for free," etc.
After a few minutes of this, a fellow senior — a star athlete, the kind of guy most people expect to be a huge jerk — said, "Dude, you've obviously never had a girlfriend, 'cause if you did, you wouldn't talk about women that way."
The freshman shut his mouth immediately, and we all nodded in approval.
It's not that guys don't want to have sex. It's just not the only thing they want. |
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