You’ve probably noticed how your body changes during puberty. If you’re a girl, your breasts get bigger and your hips widen. If you’re a guy, your testicles and penis grow and your voice changes. Both girls and guys get hair under their arms and in their pubic regions, and they tend to sweat more and get acne.
Puberty also involves other developments that aren’t as visible — changes in your emotions, moods, and thoughts. All these changes happen when your maturing brain and sex organs send hormones to the rest of your body, starting the process that helps you grow from a kid into an adult.
A New You
Many people who look back on their teen years describe them as a rollercoaster of changing feelings. “You begin to have extremely powerful urges and feelings that you’ve have never had before and have no experience dealing with,” explains Dr. Jim Greer, a child and adolescent psychiatrist.
During puberty, you’ll start to have more sexual thoughts and urges. You’ll develop an attraction to girls or guys, or girls and guys, and you may discover what having a crush on someone feels like.
As you get older, you begin to be able to think ahead, think about the past, and even analyze situations in a new way. Your new abilities allow you to have more complex thoughts and feelings, but one downside is that it can be harder to move on from negative emotions.
You may start to feel things more intensely. Life can be as dramatic as a juicy episode of The O.C. — one minute you may feel on top of the world, and the next minute you may feel pretty down in the dumps.
Tanya, 14, says she often worries about her looks and what guys think of her. “I can feel fine about myself, and then one wrong look from the guy I like makes me want to freak,” she says.
While all these changes can be exciting, they can also be a source of stress for teens. So how can you deal with your changing body and moods?
Talk About It
Once good place to start is to talk to your parents or another trusted adult. “It’s common for teenagers to feel uncomfortable and embarrassed exploring these perfectly normal, healthy and necessary emotions,” says Dr. Greer. But puberty is nothing to be embarrassed about. Your parents have been through it — they can let you know what to expect and give you tips on how to deal with changes. Older sisters, brothers, or cousins can be helpful, too.
Let It All Out
Many teens find that writing, acting, music, and art are good ways to manage stress and help them feel more in control of their moods. Your changing hormones may leave you hyper and restless, and finding a creative outlet — or doing something physical, like dancing or playing sports — can be a great way to release excess energy.
And speaking of excess energy — some teens find that they are sexually aroused a lot when they are going through puberty. While being aroused a lot can feel embarrassing or out of control, rest assured that it is normal. As you get older and get more used to arousal, it will seem less intrusive and more in control. Some teens choose to masturbate to release sexual feelings and others just wait for the feelings to pass.
It’s Perfectly Normal
Remember: although your feelings may seem out of control, try to remember that your changing moods are a normal part of growing up. And by reminding yourself that it’s OK to feel the way you do, and that you don’t have to act on your feelings, you can feel more confident and in control as you begin to get to know the exciting “new you.”
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