Dear lachae101,

It's called a "double standard." Wikipedia says that "A double standard, according to the World Book Dictionary, is a standard applied more leniently to one group than to another. For example, the belief that it is permissible for teenage boys, but not teenage girls, to engage in premarital sex is a double standard. While double standards are generally condemned in the abstract, they are also very common." Very sad, but very true.

Social attitudes like the double standard can make people feel miserable. For example, studies show that girls are more likely than boys to feel used and guilty after sex. Guys, on the other hand, may feel they gain respect if people think they've had a lot of sex partners. So lots of them are made to feel less manly if they aren't sexually experienced. But it's definitely not cool to have sex with someone just because you think it will impress people. There are lots of valid reasons why guys might choose to turn down sex — often!

Words like "slut," "tramp," and "hoe" suggest that there's something "dirty" about being sexually active, and that's not true at all! People's sexual activities and choices are their own business, and everyone has different values about sex. What's right for one person may not be right for another. And while it's totally fine if someone chooses not to be sexually active, deciding to have sex does NOT make someone a slut.

Hope this information helps!

Take care,

teenwire.com^® Editors

This column is for informational purposes only and is not intended to constitute medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have a medical problem, please call toll-free 1-800-230-PLAN for an appointment with the Planned Parenthood health center nearest you.